Leaving on a Jet Plane
by akabetty
Summary: Kaidan & Claire have known each other for years. He's always watched her from the sidelines and now that he's about to leave for Jump Zero, he can't. Not without a proper goodbye and perhaps a confession.


From a small drabble posting on tumblr [ alliancesentinel ]

_Note_: The Shepard in question [Claire "CJ"] is not my creation - she is the work of a fellow tumblr RP'r who I've done a few logs with. We've developed an extensive plot/history between our characterizations. In this case, Claire & Kaidan have been close friends since childhood. Her family moved to Vancouver when she was only 5 years old and ended up down the block from Kaidan and his family. They became very close and retained a very tight bond throughout the series. He has always considered her his best friend and first love, though he never acted on the romantic feelings.

Claire's tumblr - claireshepard

* * *

He looked around again, waiting for that familiar splash of blond hair and bright blues he'd known for what seemed like forever. His mother was reading, his father was talking to the teller who he knew from his days in the military.

"She said she'd be here," he turned sharply to his mother, who sighed and closed her book with an easy smile.

"And so she will – there's a lot of traffic around here, I'm sure she's just running late."

He can't leave without telling her goodbye. Not without seeing her before he goes off world. It's the first time and her emails of articles of shuttle crashes and deep space explosions hadn't helped. But that was CJ. That was the girl he'd known since they were little kids. Even at only sixteen she'd given him a fair share of scars to remember.

"Going to leave without me, huh?" And like that, she was there, broad grin and arms crossed. She wore a tee shirt with paint splattered down the front and ripped jeans that gave off little peeks of skin and old skinned knees. He stood up, almost too fast and nervous, waiting for a brash insult to come next.

"What took you so long?" He says with a little red across his face, unable to meet her eyes. She had to know, the whole school did, so of course she had to know it too.

"Kaidan, why don't you and Claire go grab a coffee, hm?" His mother watched them with a mirthful smile and bit of mischief in her eyes. She waved over Mrs. Shepard and hugged her tightly, mumbling about kids leaving their parents behind.

"Yeah _loser_, why don't you buy me a coffee?" Claire pushed his arm playfully, mouth full of teeth and curl along the edge of her lips. He rolled his eyes and shuffled toward the small cafe, just as his father joined the women.

He sits across from her, soft hands curled around a plastic cup and eyes focused on the steam. She's talking about all the things he'll miss while he's away, all the people who don't really matter in the long run. She speaks with her hands and face animated and in constant motion. She's always been a blur he's had to chase after. She's always been the one to make his chest clench with lack of definition.

"Sandra says you're going to write to her. _Cow_." And it's the names that speak to him, that allow him the smallest glimmer of hope.

"You know, Claire –"

"Flower for your pretty girl?" The old man with a hunch to his shoulder, yellowed teeth and sunken grin extends a little carnation. "Only half a credit, son. Give it to your sweetie." He scowls at the bad timing, at the train of thought derailed inside his head.

"Fine," he says a little harshly, begging on a lopsided smile reflected in clearwater eyes.

"Cheeseball," she smirks as her nose pressed against the small petals. "You know he picked it outside."

"So what?" He laughs into his hot drink, wincing slightly as the burn wastes along his tongue.

"_Sentimental_," she clicks her teeth and arches a brow over her plastic mug. "But nice. Maybe I'll give it to Sandra for you?" The joke is an obvious deflection that even he can see. There isn't anything between him and the curvy classmate she keeps on mentioning.

"No," he's quick to argue against her. "It's yours." He runs a hand through his hair, nervous jitters traveling the length of his skin. "CJ, I have to tell you –"

The audio system crackles to life over their heads – "Now boarding shuttle number twelve to Arcturus Station at platform seven. All passengers please have passes ready." His narrowed eyes give a look toward the speaker as though the recording knew how it had interrupted him. Twice now, he's tried to tell her, to let her know he'll be thinking of her often.

"Come on," she stands. "That's your number, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he follows, cups forgotten and feet in fast pace across the large port.

And maybe it's for the best he doesn't say anything at all. Six months from now he'll be back and though she'll be different – longer hair and older eyes, excited voice and squeal dying to recount all he's missed – he'll still see her as she is now, wishing him well and skinny arms wrapped tight around his neck.

"Claire," he whispers into her hair that smells of clean. "I have to tell you something."

"Save it, fuckass. Man up and get yourself a girl while you're out there, okay?" She punches his arm, expression showing something he's never seen before. And now he can't say it. Now the moment is lost and though he knows he'll regret it, he smiles with a huff and goes.

He takes his window seat with a small sigh and rests his chin in hand. He can see the barest outline of people on the platform watching, but all he can see is her. She isn't smiling like his parents. She isn't waving like the rest. She's got arms crossed and a frown he could recognize anywhere.

"Excuse me," the question interrupts his thoughts and turns his sights away. "Is this seat taken?" The girl is nothing like the blue eyed blond he left behind. She has long dark hair and even darker eyes, long fingers and frame with a nervous grin so opposite from the mischievous devil he knows so well.

"No, go ahead." He answers with his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Thanks," she sits and extends a hand, smelling of spice and honey. "I'm Rahna."

"Kaidan."


End file.
